Resilience takes many forms. In retirement, it often reveals itself in the quiet courage to adapt, to keep moving forward, and to stay open to love, friendship, and meaning—even in the face of great change.
Resident stories of resilience at The Clare offer real-life examples of that strength. Dorothy, a longtime resident, has experienced that kind of resilience firsthand. Her story—shared with warmth, honesty, and grace—is a powerful testament to what it means to live well through life’s most challenging seasons, supported by a compassionate and uplifting community. If you are more interested in out community, you can also learn more about the benefits of urban of urban senior living.
Living Well with Parkinson’s—Together
Dorothy and her husband Larry moved to The Clare in May 2013. The decision was both thoughtful and forward-looking.
“I knew The Clare well as my public relations firm did its original marketing materials before the building even started construction,” she shared. “My husband had Parkinson’s and we thought at some point in our lives we would want to move from our five-story townhouse to someplace like The Clare.
“When we learned it had emerged from bankruptcy and the new buyer had a sterling reputation, we decided to see if it was a possibility. Even though Larry was quite healthy at that point and I was still working full-time running our agency, we decided to make the move. We never looked back,” said Dorothy.
Larry had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 1997. From the beginning, Dorothy and Larry took a proactive approach.
Dorothy continued, “Much of my work at our public relations firm was with medical accounts, and on our second visit I peppered the doctor with questions. He, in turn, suggested we might be better off with a doctor at Rush Medical Center where they were doing a great deal of research in Parkinson’s and other movement disorders.
“On his first visit there, he enrolled in a clinical trial for a drug that, it turned out, slowed the progression of the onset of symptoms. From that time forward, he was always enrolled in clinical trials. Some had great results, others not. Over his almost 28 years with PD, he was very fortunate in that he progressed slowly, had expert care and didn’t begin using a walker until 2016, 19 years after his diagnosis—and that only occasionally for another couple of years,” she said.
Finding Strength in the Everyday
Parkinson’s brought difficult moments, particularly as the disease began to affect Larry’s independence. Dorothy shared, “The first time I ever saw Larry cry was the day he was diagnosed with PD. We didn’t tell anyone—not even our kids (all adults)—until we could come to terms with what this would mean. He was so healthy then—his only symptom was a foot flop on his left side—that we decided to tell them and our families and just live life—see what happened and deal with it.
“As the disease progressed, the challenges he faced were as much to his self-esteem as physically. It was very difficult for him to be told his reflexes were not good enough for him to continue driving, which was in 2019, 22 years after his diagnosis. A couple of years later, he was having trouble cutting his meat—another embarrassment he had to deal with. Our dining staff here at The Clare were so sensitive to this once they became aware of it that they would serve his food already cut up with nothing said other than his ‘thank you,’” she said.
Despite these changes, Larry continued to thrive—mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Dorothy said, “He worked out with a trainer three times a week from the time he was diagnosed until literally, the day he died. He worked his way up to climbing all 53 flights of stairs and went on to climb the 80 flights of the Aon Center four times, raising money for Lurie Children’s Hospital and earning a reputation here as being one tough guy.
“He also worked with a Clare speech therapist to strengthen his vocal projection and even learned to sign his favorite song, ‘I Believe.’ He began writing, taking fiction, poetry, and memoir writing classes soon after we moved to The Clare in 2013. And he played on The Clare’s water volleyball team until he contracted COVID pneumonia in 2023, which ended his life,” she said.
The Support of a Community
The Clare’s specialized Parkinson’s programming and dedicated team members made a lasting difference in both their lives.
Dorothy discussed how the programming benefited Larry. “The weekly speech classes were valuable in not only teaching Larry skills to improve his projection but to build a sense of community for those who have PD,” she said.
“Emily, the speech therapist he worked with the longest here, was skilled in working with PD patients and never stopped researching and discovering new ways to challenge and help Larry. She was magical in her devotion to Larry the person, not just Larry the patient,” she said.
“Kim, in the fitness center, studied the PD boxing program protocol so they could box. She investigated new ways to incorporate PD exercises into his routines and is another person who went above and beyond in caring for and about Larry,” she continued.
Their story is also one of deep social and emotional connection. Dorothy shared, “There is no shame here in having PD or any of the various ailments we naturally suffer from as we age. Larry was an example of someone who persevered and fought back against a debilitating disease. People here knew him or knew about him and admired him for his tenacity and attitude. This is a special community. If you asked 100 Clare residents what the best thing is about living here, I believe 100 would say ‘the people.’”
Moving Forward with Heart
After losing Larry in December 2023, Dorothy continues to live with purpose and joy, surrounded by the same community that uplifted them both.
“My antidote to losing Larry is to do things that are fulfilling—volunteering, learning, singing, writing—doing things that make me happy. I don’t do all this just to fill time. I do things that fill my heart and soul. I live in a giant hug. That’s the best way to describe my life after losing Larry,” she said.
Dorothy continued, “My day was filled with the love of my friends and neighbors here and a staff of people who are as much friends as they are people who work here. That has not stopped. It is 18 months later, and I am surrounded by people who care. I truly feel blessed every day since losing him.”
Her reflections on grief, resilience, and community reveal a journey shaped by love and support.
She continued, “Grief is the price you pay for loving someone so much. I’ve come to terms with this being far more difficult than I expected. But I have found how to live a good and happy life with family and friends who I can call on—and who can call on me. They are down the hall or an elevator ride away, every day. How lucky am I?”
The Meaning of Resilience
Dorothy knows resilience isn’t about never breaking—it’s about continuing on, even when it’s hard. She said, “Being resilient takes more than being tough, independent, and being able to bounce back. I think it also means giving yourself permission to feel, to need, and to accept—to let your guard down and be okay about that. I’m still in the practicing stage.” To get started, discover the top 8 reasons to consider independent senior living in Chicago.
For Dorothy, the support of a community has been just as essential as her own inner strength. “Where we live at The Clare, we are as much or as little ‘community’ as a person chooses. I choose a lot. It is the caring nature of this community of people that makes my life rich and meaningful. My community at The Clare has surrounded me to whatever degree I want and need practically from the day we moved in 12 years ago. I am grateful daily that I am living here.”
Experience the courage and resilience of our residents at The Clare. Dorothy’s story is a testament to the strength found within a compassionate community dedicated to supporting every stage of life. Contact us today to learn more about life at The Clare and how we can support your journey with care and dignity.